Happiness (II)

I am just sitting, enjoying the sun light shining on my skin. It’s holiday time; relaxing. Doing nothing. Letting it happen, like Pepe Carvalho in his researches. Feels like happiness, but I guess it’s only laziness. I can only feel happy when I manage to unite my emotions with my thinking; only when rationality is not fighting against feelings. This is not easy to achieve for me, as I don’t know what I feel, and when I do I also know I should better have other feelings. Happiness is a hard business. There are two practices that bring me close to happiness, that allow my feelings to be one with my logics; those are sex, and music. When I play, and if I play good, then all the rules that I learned and I need fade; a direct channel is opened for the magic inside to go out. It is not irrational, as my rational part is awake and watching the process, and rules are still set and followed. But emotions are there, and are not ruled out. It is not irrational, as there are rules to follow. But rules are created at that very moment. Everything looks so intense. Happiness.